Occasionally, doing research for articles leads me to question some of my core beliefs. For example, I thought it was normal to use the same towel for days on end, and just the other day I learned my showering habits were all wrong. What else am I doing wrong?...
When I was just a young boy, I slammed my thumb in a car door. That fingernail proceeded to fall off about a week later, revealing a brain-like section of skin that both intrigued my boyish self and absolutely terrified every normal adult who had the misfortune...
A clean, freshly made bed is a glorious sight. “Sleep in me,” it says. “Crawl into me, forget all your worries and sleep the sleep of a champion. Dream the pleasant dreams of the stress-free, and awake refreshed and invigorated for a day of splendidness.” It’s like Pennywise inviting...
When I was in middle school, I carpooled with a friend whose dad would vigorously mow his stubble with electric clippers while driving us through the busy, chaotic streets of Los Angeles. I understood back then — and I understand even more so now, as a highly...
Mistook your monthly magazine for a pack of One Wipe Charlies and flushed it down the toilet? No worries, here’s the online version! In this edition: The Nudist’s Guide to Being Comfortable in Your Own Skin Why is Sensitive Skin So Damn Sensitive? Should I Be Moisturizing...
If you’ve dared to venture out of quarantine long enough to go to the supermarket or — eek! — made your way through a half-empty airport in these dark and trying times, no doubt you’ve seen someone wearing a mask. No, not those types of masks —...
Despite people clamoring to buy the last 18-packs of double-ply toilet paper at the grocery store, the coronavirus really isn’t the butt apocalypse it might seem, since nothing gastrointestinal is among the primary symptoms. For some, the greater concern may be that quarantining prevents us from leaving the house much...
Deodorant is good stuff — it masks your natural stench with an exotic scent usually called something ultra-manly like STEEL JET or CONCRETE GUNBARREL. Indeed, if traditional deodorant ads are anything to go by, it makes you so irresistible that angels will willfully give up their haloes just...
Update: Woohoo! Yay! Hell yeah! The World Health Organization has just now come out stating that, as far as they can tell, there’s no real evidence that our companion animals — dogs and cats, at least — can be infected by the new coronavirus, or COVID-19. Now,...
There’s at least one good reason men should floss, but most dentists are too cowardly to share it: healthy boners. Poor dental hygiene is strongly associated with erectile dysfunction, or ED, so if the bad breath doesn’t disappoint in the bedroom, your penis might. Men in their...
Many of us assume that our showers are, well, always clean — they get sprayed down with a concoction of soap and water every day or so, after all. Sadly, though, our soapy runoff does virtually as little for the cleanliness of our showers as it does...
We’ve all heard how dirty money can be, and I don’t mean that in either a legal payout kind of way or a “I’m pretty sure my retirement is being funded by blood diamonds” kind of way. No, I mean it in a “Who the heck touched...