A clean, freshly made bed is a glorious sight. “Sleep in me,” it says. “Crawl into me, forget all your worries and sleep the sleep of a champion. Dream the pleasant dreams of the stress-free, and awake refreshed and invigorated for a day of splendidness.” It’s like Pennywise inviting...
Many of us have had our routines, in a matter of weeks, completely upended. Only a short while ago, we continued to commute to our workplaces. We still went to our gyms. We attended our weekly gatherings with friends and family. But now, almost everyone is being...
There aren’t many mathematically perfect things in the universe: platonic solids; the numbers 6, 28, 496 and 8,128 (and by extension, June 28th); and now a simple cup of espresso. Yes, indeed! Rest easy, java junkies, for a bunch of math, physics and materials experts from the U.S., U.K., Ireland, Australia...
Not sure if you noticed, but things have gone a little pear-shaped in the world recently, and the time has never been more right to talk about conserving your precious capital — you know, money. And the best way to conserve or even grow your money in...
Building a home gym is one way of getting a workout at home. But for me, the guy who looks like what happens when you’ve traded a daily workout regimen for a daily television regimen, the idea that I’m going to use what appears to be a...
There are a lot of elements of life where we all know what we’re meant to do, and that we aren’t going to do it. There are bad habits we know we need to cut down on and good habits we assure ourselves we’ll get around to...
Because I’m not a parent, my general policy on parenting-related topics is that my opinion is worthless and that everything is probably a lot more challenging than it looks. I do have a seven-year-old niece who I wish was my child (if my sister is reading this: watch...
So you’ve got a ripped $20 bill. Didn’t your parents ever teach you to respect property? This is why we can’t have nice things. Except, guess what: A ripped $20 is still $20 — so long as you have more than 50 percent of the bill. Otherwise,...
Mistook your monthly magazine for a pack of One Wipe Charlies and flushed it down the toilet? No worries, here’s the online version! In this edition: The Nudist’s Guide to Being Comfortable in Your Own Skin Why is Sensitive Skin So Damn Sensitive? Should I Be Moisturizing...
Imagine, if you will, that Jesus Christ returned to Earth and found himself in the same exact ethical conundrum as millions of Lent-practicing Americans will experience over the next few weeks: Is it okay to eat veggie burgers? Or should the Son of God hop on a...
One of my favorite peeing-in-a-closet stories — and I’ve heard a lot, for journalistic research and because I went to college — doesn’t involve any pee at all. In the spring of 2004, a woman named Erica (she requested I withhold her last name) took her friend...
Despite people clamoring to buy the last 18-packs of double-ply toilet paper at the grocery store, the coronavirus really isn’t the butt apocalypse it might seem, since nothing gastrointestinal is among the primary symptoms. For some, the greater concern may be that quarantining prevents us from leaving the house much...