One of the hardest things I’ve had to do (and continue to do) in my 35 years on this mortal plane has been kicking nicotine. From the day my college girlfriend broke up with me when I was 20 until only a couple of years ago, I...
Ah, Valentine’s Day — that holiday dedicated to love, appreciation and panicking while trying to find your partner a gift that symbolized the entirety of your relationships so they still love you come February 15th. Seriously, though, I have, like, no money and need to come up...
It Could Happen To You: You’re at some nice hotel you wouldn’t ordinarily drop the cash for, and in order to fully milk the experience, you know you’ve gotta be fully nude, in bed, with a tray of chicken tenders. You don’t want to stank up the...
There are only four skywriters in the entire world, so if you want to send a message from heaven on Valentine’s Day, you’ll need to get on that soon. Maybe you’ve already determined that insanely expensive prix fixe menus, padded cards and a tennis bracelet won’t do...
I regularly struggle to make simple decisions regarding what I’d like to eat for dinner — yes, I’m that girlfriend trope. Nevertheless, I know that when it comes to making more significant decisions — whether to accept a job offer, break up with someone, move across the country — an empty...
I am neither a poet nor a scientist, and so to describe what sex smells like seems near impossible. Sex smells like… body juice? Erotic-flavored sweat? Chicken broth? According to expert sex doctors and fellow sex-havers, all of the above. But there are a handful of components...
There’s a big difference between having breath that smells like alcohol and having alcohol breath: The former simply acknowledges that one’s breath smells as though they’ve consumed alcohol, while the latter is that wretched scent of yeast, sugar, nastiness and the sort of moldering despair you can smell...
Typically, when you’re in your twenties and even your early thirties, financial security often means putting one foot in front of the other money-wise, stringing enough cash together to occasionally go out for dinner, have a drink (or drinks) with friends or take a once-yearly vacation —...
There are plenty of mysteries left in this world: What the heck happened to D.B Cooper, and, of course, how every single fitness tracker and cardio machine can spit out a different “calories burned” number when all you’re trying to do is figure out how effective your workout was....
For a couple decades starting in the late 1970s and lasting well into the 1990s, video game arcades were everywhere. In an age of less-intense parental supervision, they were a bit like informal clubhouses, a place where Gen-Xers could spend hours while spending just a bit of...
You won’t see your chain pizza makers tossing dough in the air, but when you go to an authentic, old-school-Italian pizza joint, nothing makes you feel like you’re getting some good pizza quite like seeing dough tossed in the air. It’s a spectacle, and if you’ve ever tried...
A tiny, portable television was one of the most invaluable items in my home growing up. It was ancient and useless — at best, it might pick up portions of a mattress commercial once every few months. The rest of the time, the shoebox-sized device blared “snow,”...
